Are You A Serial Dater? You Need to Have a Lot More Coffee

As you choose from three outfits and check your text messages you’re conscious of time and worried about making the right impression.

You were warned about having a drink before you arrived as you knew you you needed to be the best you could be (and your friends warned you against ‘Dutch courage’).

First impressions count. In fact, in his book The Chimp Paradox, Dr Steve Peters suggests that a first impression is cemented so immediately that it takes months and months to correct if you get it wrong.

This is paramount! This moment needs to be as good as it can be so you arrive early, looking your best, all ready for your big date.

You check the table booking and pop to the toilet for one last look in the mirror.

It’s all up to chemistry now…

Are You A Serial Dater? You Need to Have a Lot More Coffee

Dating! It’s a tricky process, and a nerve-wracking time. Getting it right at the first meeting might not be possible but it’s your aim.

To put dating into the business analogy, on a first date you’re unlikely to get a sale… it’ll go back to the advisors (the friends) and the text messages (the follow up) will continue.

You’ll maybe send some flowers or a gift (free content) and then offer a second date (pitch or follow up meeting).

You see, marketing and lead generation are like dating, but too many are treating it like casual sex or even prostitution!

Our advice? Date your prospects nicely. Don’t pressure them. Wine and dine them before you ask them to stay over.

And just because you’re paying (with ads and re-marketing) doesn’t mean you’ll get the sale right away and it doesn’t mean you should ask for it right away. (Your leads are not prostitutes!)

Dating and marketing take time, effort, and the occasional free lunch.

Let’s look at how you can use your marketing and social media to date your ideal clients, to get them to say ‘yes please’.

First impressions

What you put out online is what helps people to form opinions of you. This includes your social media, blogs, emails, and those tentative live videos you’ve attempted.

Don’t be fooled into spending your time online simply asking for a quickie! It might be OK but it won’t be fulfilling in the long term.

Use your time to woo and wow your audience, and show them some moves on the dance floor! Open some doors, give them some help, and be a useful and attractive addition to their timeline.

Think of the social media streams like a night club and you’ll not go far wrong.

Buy some drinks, show some moves, and put on your best gear. You’ll need to show that you’re the best you can be; not spend all your time just trying to get a quick snog.

Make sure your content is the best it can be, and that your knowledge and enthusiasm for your topic helps your ideal prospect.

You need to attract that mate, not scare them off! 

If all you do is sell then you’re in danger of asking for a meaningless liaison instead of offering coffee.

Sure, you’ll get a few yes’s but you’ll get a lot more no’s – and you’ll probably only gain short term relationships instead of those that flourish.

Share content online that shows you’re an expert and that you’re the one for them. Don’t be afraid to share it all, either. There’s no need to keep your best secrets hidden. On your first date, you’ll have your best moves ready but you’ll also buy a new outfit and clean those shoes to impress.

If you’re creating free content then make sure it’s your best and it’s value-led and – more importantly – that it’s all about them!

Find their problems and then write and create and share the solutions. It’s just like listening and nodding on a first date.

Free content – sending gifts

After your date, considerate gifts and signs of affection are a great way to show them you’re a serious contender.

Putting out blogs and emails is great, but what about actually sending something to them? Direct mail and networking might be old school but in this busy digital world you’ll stand out more.

Create some gifts like printed eBooks, booklets, or branded pens and other useful items.

Send them and give them out of the blue and – if you can – make it personal and make it about them.

There’s nothing more attention-grabbing than freebie that’s both thoughtful and personal.

Following up – texting

After your hot date you’ll want to follow up with a text or a phone call. As you’re a good dater you’ve not yet had any kisses, let alone sex, so now you need to work on them for a second and third date so you get the sale.

Following up on email, the phone, messenger or social media is so easy, and with a good CRM you can be a serial dater and get away with managing many relationships at once. In the world of business your prospects won’t mind if you see other clients as well, thankfully.

But make sure you do… follow up that is.

“Did he call you?” Is the age-old question in dating and knowing when and how soon should be taken case by case with a little experience added in.

But make sure you do it!

Don’t forget your date and never rely on them to call you. Take the reins and follow up.

Hanging out together – social media 

Hanging out in the same social circles would be a great way to find a date or staying in contact with one from afar. You can follow up and ask for a second date whilst hanging around in the same bars and clubs – just gently, in a non-pushy way.

Just building awareness and showing a little attention can really help to strengthen the relationship.

Plus, you’ll be able to listen in on their conversations and spot which music they dance to. Social media will give you some really useful arsenal in your follow up and sales pitches.

Coffee, text, and then you can get a bit more intimate later on if both parties are well-suited and ready.

The days of asking for the sale are not dead; they’re just more and more ineffective. You do need to ask for the sale – you just need to spot when that time has come.

Date, buy some wine and send some gifts and show them what you’ve got. Use digital marketing to hang out where they are and appear where they’re looking. They might not be ready for you yet. They might be in a relationship already. They might just need reminding how great you are so they can watch you from afar.

So you see, marketing is much like dating. Many people used to simply use paid ads in the Yellow Pages. The world of marketing has changed. Turn your sales messages into value pieces. Peacock a little and show off some of your best chat-up lines via your blog or email subject lines.

You’ll get some yes’s, it just takes time to build that trust.

Now… go strut your stuff and don’t forget to text them tomorrow!

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