Go for No! How To Chase Rejection (and Actually Be OK With It)

Imagine going after a “no” like it’s the best prize in the world. 

Sounds odd, as most business owners and marketers spend their time working how to attract the right people who’ll say ‘yes’ to buying from them. 

Go for No! How To Chase Rejection (and Actually Be OK With It) 

But there is another way – and we love it. So I thought I’d share my learning from reading a game-changer of a book – ‘Go For No! Yes Is The Destination – No Is How You Get There’. 

Go for No! by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz is a book that turns fear of rejection on its head and insists that the more you hear “no,” the closer you are to “yes.” It’s a bit of a cult classic in the personal development world. It’s a bit of a weird premise in that it’s about a salesman who speaks to his future self, but don’t let that put you off.  

This little gem shook up our thinking and had us chasing rejection like never before. And after reading it 6 months ago, we’re nearly there with being OK with it. Nearly. 

Flipping failure on its head 

Let’s face it: everyone hates rejection. But Go for No basically tells you, “If you’re not failing, you’re not even trying.” The book argues that instead of avoiding failure, we should actively look for it. Why? Because every “no” gets us one step closer to a “yes.” This wild approach is all about seeing rejection as a sign of progress, not defeat. Failure is not at the opposite end of the spectrum to success – it happens on the way there!  

Take the story of the suit salesman, for example. A guy closes a nice $1,100 sale and thinks he’s smashed it. Pat on the back, job done. But his manager, Harold, points out the obvious: the customer would’ve spent even more if he’d kept asking. He had more budget. He wanted to buy. The only limit here was the salesman’s fear of hearing “no.” (Or perhaps he needed to work on his money mindset!) It’s such a great reminder that sometimes, the only person capping your success is you. Also, remind me to tell you about the time I went into a furniture shop in my big coat and boots as it was cold, only for the salesman (yes, it was a man) to show me where the discount area was. BIG MISTAKE. HUGE. 

Making rejection part of the daily tasks 

Since reading Go for No!, we’ve taken a whole new approach. We don’t just expect rejection – we plan for it. Got a sales target? We don’t just aim for the “yeses”; we set rejection goals too. That’s right: we now have targets for how many “no” responses we’re going for. Every time we get rejected, it’s a win for us, because we’re building resilience and getting closer to a “yes.” 

And it’s not just at work. Jo recently tried this out at a café in London. She’d ordered a very expensive cold drink from a , finished it quickly, and – on a whim – asked the barista for a top-up, just to see if they’d say yes. And, boom, they did! It was a small thing, but it’s proof that just asking sometimes works wonders. We’re getting used to pushing for more in everyday moments, just like that, because we’re seeing rejection as a new door, not a dead end. Scary – yeah a bit. Thrilling though. 

The secret weapon against fear 

Here’s the magic of the Go for No! mindset: it kills the fear of failure. Once you stop seeing “no” as a dead-end and start seeing it as a step forward, fear doesn’t stand a chance. Instead of tiptoeing around the scary stuff, we’re now boldly throwing ourselves at it. This isn’t just a business thing; it’s a life thing. We’re talking confidence boosts left, right, and centre. 

Take the story of Allen Breed, for instance. This guy was told “no” for decades when pitching his airbag invention. But he didn’t let that stop him. He kept going, kept asking, until airbags became mandatory in vehicles and all of a sudden his invention changed the world. It’s proof that one good “yes” can outweigh a million “no” responses. 

Taking “no” personally… but in a good way 

Before Go for No!, rejection stung. Now? OK we’re not there yet but we do see it as a sign we’re pushing boundaries. The book taught us that each “no” brings us new skills, better conversations, and a stronger backbone. It’s like lifting weights – every time we hear “no,” we’re building mental muscle, making us stronger for the next challenge. 

I watched a TV programme years ago about a lovely single chap who was terrible at dating and asking out potential partners. The programme had him go up to women on the street and start up a conversation. Not just once. LOADS of times. The first time he was totally mortified. The tenth time it was still awkward. By the end of the programme it had become so much more comfortable and he felt fine with approaching people for a chat. And I’m sure his confidence would have helped him chat successfully with more people.  

Even the greats got rejected. Thomas Edison famously failed at inventing the lightbulb 10,000 times. And you know what he said? “I didn’t fail. I just found 10,000 ways that didn’t work.” He even hired less-talented inventors to speed up the process of failing so he could learn faster. Now that’s embracing “no” on an exponential level. Clever chap. I’m pretty sure I’d have stopped after about 20 times. 

We even have a little “go for no” champ in the family: our 7-year-old daughter, Bobbi. She’s a pro at asking for what she wants – whether it’s a freebie from the bakery, an extra pretty crystal from the shop, or an extra scoop of ice cream. She’s not so used to dealing with the “no” when it comes, but then again, at her age, she doesn’t hear it all that often. With a smile and a bit of charm, she usually gets her “yes”! 

Why you need to read go for no! right now 

If you’re ready to see “no” in a whole new light and supercharge your success, Go for No! is the book for you. Don’t just take our word for it; try it.  

Set a “no” goal, get rejected a bit, and see what happens. Spoiler alert: things start moving when you do. 

So, are you ready to turn rejection into your best friend? Grab Go for No! and get ready for a perspective shift that might just change everything. 

TL:DR? 

• Love the “no”: Rejection isn’t failure – it’s the fastest way to learn and succeed. 

• Go big, stay bold: Set scary goals, take action, and don’t stop just because someone says no. 

• Shift your perspective: Every “no” gets you closer to a “yes,” so keep asking. 

• Enjoy the process: Focus on the daily effort, not just the shiny end result. 

• Fail like a pro: Success thrives on failure, so treat every setback as a stepping stone. 

Need some help with your marketing? Give us a holla! 

Do You Struggle to Create Content to Generate Sales?

We’ve Created a FREE Online Marketing Plan…

Use our simple ideas generator to help you make better content, over and over again…

Learn More

Tags associated with this article