Listen Up! Why Active Listening Matters

If you’re a terrible listener, don’t worry – you’re not alone. Most people are just waiting for their turn to talk, itching to jump in with their groundbreaking “me too” stories. But here’s the thing: listening (actually shutting up and paying attention) makes you a better friend, partner, colleague, and salesperson. Yeah, it’s that powerful. 
 

Last week I (Jo) gave a talk about Active Listening, which inspired me to share this blog.
The photo is from the event, in case you were questioning the relevance! 

Listen Up! Why Active Listening Matters 

What’s active listening?

It’s more than nodding your head like a bobblehead at a football match. Active listening is about focusing, remembering key details, and making the other person feel heard. No cutting people off mid-sentence or planning your response while they’re still talking. You’re there to listen, not just to wait for your turn to speak. 

Why should you care? 

It’s literally brain candy

Talking about ourselves lights up our brains like winning the lottery. That’s why people love to do it! When you actively listen, you give people that dopamine hit by letting them talk about themselves – and you come off looking like a champ for it. 

(Side point: I had two separate sales calls last week where the potential client thanked me for the call because they enjoyed the chat. I listened, made notes, and heard what they needed, and now I’ve got enough information, and they also feel good. What’s not to love?) 

Here’s a vitally important meme of Ryan Gosling to illustrate my point.  

It builds trust

Nothing says “I trust you” like someone who actually listens without cutting in with unsolicited advice or half-baked stories. Listening builds trust and makes the conversation more balanced, not a one-sided lecture

It saves time and solves problems

Surprise! The more you listen, the more info you gather, and the easier it is to actually solve whatever problem you’re discussing. Shocking, right? Turns out, when people feel heard, they’ll often tell you exactly what they need. 

You learn more from shutting up 

Listening isn’t just about making the other person feel warm and fuzzy – it’s how you actually learn. When you stop thinking about what you’re going to say next and focus on what’s being said, you pick up on new ideas, different perspectives, and stuff you might’ve missed otherwise. It’s like opening a book you didn’t know you needed but can’t put down. The less you talk, the more you learn. Simple as that. The Dalai Lama said it, so you know it’s true. 

Ready for Some tips?

Here’s how to actively listen like a pro: 

• Eye Contact: No one likes talking to someone who looks like they’re scanning for an exit. Keep your gaze engaged. 

• Ask Questions: Instead of blurting out advice, ask clarifying questions to dive deeper into what they’re saying. Trust me, this works wonders. 

• Embrace the Silence: Don’t rush to fill the gaps. People often reveal the most when you give them space to think. 

Why are questions so important? 

If you’re not asking questions, are you even listening? Throw in a “What did you mean by that?” or a “How did that make you feel?” (Yes, we’re going full therapist mode here). Questions show you’re paying attention, and it keeps the convo moving without you taking over. 

Summarise – don’t parrot 

Repeating what someone said word-for-word isn’t listening, it’s being a robot. Instead, summarise the point to show you’ve processed it. Something like, “So, if I’m getting this right, you’re saying your boss is a total nightmare?” See how that works? You’re listening and showing you get it

What not to do (and yes, you’re probably guilty of these)

• Interrupting: Nope, stop it. Let them finish. 

• Fidgeting: Stay present, or you’ll look like you’ve got somewhere better to be. 

• Judging: You’re not there to critique. You’re there to understand. 

The bottom line

When you actively listen, you’re doing more than just hearing words. You’re building connections, solving problems, and – wait for it – becoming a better human. So, how about giving it a try? Don’t just nod along like you’ve got it all figured out. Listen – really listen – and watch your relationships transform. 

I’m really passionate about this and have got loads more info, so if you want it, just shout. I promise I’ll listen.

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